


1457 - The Forest Bride: A Joseon Scary Story

by impalafortrenchcoats



Series: Young Forever [8]
Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Attempt at Humor, Blood and Violence, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Historical Inaccuracy, Horror, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-04-07 01:13:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19074469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalafortrenchcoats/pseuds/impalafortrenchcoats
Summary: The forest beside the village was cursed. There were only three rules the villagers lived by: one, respect the forest; two, never travel alone; and three, never,ever, enter the forest after dark.Well, sort of.Either the forest was haunted or this was a tale of how seven immortal idiots managed to accidentally terrorize a village for a few decades without realizing until it blew up in their faces.





	1457 - The Forest Bride: A Joseon Scary Story

**Author's Note:**

> This is a part of an ongoing series. The series itself in not in any particular order, and it is not necessary to read all of the rest to understand this one; however, I recommend reading the first one, _2013 - Hyungdeuri_ , before reading this, since it's relatively short and sets up the premise.
> 
> But that's optional really. 
> 
> All you need to know for this universe is that everyone's favorite seven idiots are immortal. They stay young, but can be killed. If killed, they will come back, but as the opposite gender. 
> 
> That's the gist of it! Enjoy!

The forest beside the village was cursed.

It was hard to pinpoint when the stories began, but for many who lived at the foot of the mountain, on the edge of dense foliage, it was agreed that nothing good lay beyond the haven of humanity.

For them, only necessity or desperation drove them into its depths. But there were three rules these villagers lived by: first, never travel alone: there was safety in numbers and should something go awry, hopefully someone else will be able to bring your body back for funeral rites; second, respect the forest and its inhabitants - proper thanks must be given for creatures hunted there, and the gods have mercy on those who stumbled upon anything more than a few rabbits and foxes; lastly, never enter the forest after dark.

And this was the way things went in their small village. Taemin was born, grew up, and will hopefully die at a ripe old in this village. For as long as he could remember, the forest was an ominous presence but a familiar one. Everyone was aware of the threat, but at the same time, everyone was used to it. So long as the rules were met, there was harmony.

Now, Taemin had his doubts. Any hot-blooded young man from the village would. Spirits and ghosts? More like old wives’ tales to keep the children well-behaved. That was not to say Taemin doubted the stories enough to go testing them for himself.

It was hard to deny there were incidents that arose every now and then that defied explanation. A few years ago, young Jisoo had, in some childish madness, gone into the forest in the midst of a game of hide-and-seek. When the hour grew late and the little girl was yet to be found, the villagers combed the surrounding forest but to no avail. And when the moon was high and the torches flickered in and out between the trees as searchers continued their hunt, the young girl’s mother had begun to lose hope.

But, inexplicably, unseen by the many villagers out that night, Jisoo came hobbling out of the woods to her mother’s side. Her ankle was bound in medicated fabric and in her arms were a few black bean buns, still warm and wrapped in a pink embroidered handkerchief.

Over the mother’s hysterical tears, what the people could make of the child’s story was simply that she had fallen into a creek and sprained her ankle. Some kind young women had helped her and even offered her some sweets for her troubles. They had even walked her back.

She had then proceeded to point to the silent darkness behind her.

Of course, no one was there.

Jisoo’s story was one of many such tales. Some hunting groups claimed to have been joined on their hunts in the forest, to have their numbers increased, unnoticed, only to lose those numbers again upon returning to their village.

One woodcutter had an interesting tale about greeting a woman in the depths of the forest. Noting that this woman was too well dressed to have been traveling and, considering how deep in the forest they were, she seemed far too relaxed as she combed through her extravagantly long hair, the man couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy. She then pointed to a wine set beside her that he hadn't noticed earlier and invited him to join her.

The wine was set for two.

The woodcutter simply politely declined and all but ran back to the village. According to him, he knew he shouldn't have gone alone.

So, all in all, Taemin may have been a bit skeptical, but there were enough stories to feed his self-preservation.

This all changed in the second summer of King Sejo’s reign.

Initially, the bloody coronation and subsequent political changes had little effects on their village; being as rural as they were, there was little incentive for the capital to send their minions here. Unfortunately, the new king must have had some vested interest in their village. It was early summer when news of a new magistrate was posted in the community bulletin.

A lot of good that did. It was only days after the notice was posted, when the local copyist was finally recovered enough from a bout of summer sickness that a few folks managed to drag him to the message and had him tell them what the scrawl was announcing. By that time, there was only a day or two before the magistrate’s imminent arrival. It wasn’t like there was much they could do about it.

On the whole, it didn’t really matter what the capital wanted since no one in the village thought there was much the government could do here. It was more an unexpected inconvenience. The last time they had a magistrate was decades ago, and he had only lasted a good few weeks before an ill-advised hunt in the forest ended in the man essentially running out of town.

He was kind enough to send his own people to pick up his goods after the fact. Since then, the estate had been left alone and was in rather derelict conditions.

Some of the elders considered requesting the younger crowd to clean it up in preparation for the new magistrate, but given how little time was left and how little faith they had in the man actually staying, they promptly forgot about the whole thing.

They’ll deal with it when it comes.

And came it did. Silk clad, fabric garishly dyed, prancing on a finely brushed steed, one Lee Byunghun and his entourage arrived at their village. It hadn’t even taken the entire day before his disdain for the situation became readily apparent. By the next day, the disdain was enthusiastically reciprocated by the village.

By the end of the first week, Taemin and the other young men and women drafted into cleaning, maintaining, and patrolling the now occupied estate were already plotting subterfuge, more for their entertainment than anything else. The village elders had tried to warn the magistrate about the forest, but were quickly dismissed by the man.

After that, they decided to let it be, sure that the forest would take care of the situation.

They simply had to wait, and maybe have a little fun at Magistrate Lee’s expense while they were at it.

Fortunately for Magistrate Lee but less so for the people, he was not prone to the outdoors and hardly ever left the confines of the estate. With little else to do, the villagers satisfied themselves by upping the ante of daily inconveniences for the official.

With tempers rising due to the frustrating man, it was a relief for everyone when the height of the summer heat began to dwindle, and there was a small window of comfort before monsoon season began. This meant that everyone could fully invest in ignoring their new addition and focus instead on preparations for the Chilseok Festival, the annual celebration of the star-crossed lovers.

In honor of the celestial lover’s short reunion, the villagers always made a grand effort to celebrate. On the day, many of the wives would gather to make wheat pancakes and sirrutteok, special rice cakes specifically for the event, for the rest of the village. The elders went about making offerings of fried pumpkins to the North Star constellation, like the rest of the country, as well as offerings to the forest, something that was tradition only in their village. The offerings to the forest were meant as appeasement, since this was the one day when the villagers would set aside their fears for the most part and go into the forest en masse to bathe in the many pools there.

Bathing was a significant part of the Chilseok celebration, and their village, being blessed with many beautiful falls and watering holes, meant that it was a highly anticipated time of community bonding. The women would often take to the northern pools, while the men would run off into the western parts.

All in all, it was a wondrous time for the people. Which was why, when Taemin found himself trudging through the forest on the day of the Chilseok Festival, he couldn’t help but curse his luck that he was stuck with Magistrate Lee and his guards. At least he wasn’t alone in his misery. He and Kibum, an older boy from the village, had both been drafted into guiding the man through forest to a more private watering hole.

Apparently, it was below him to bathe with the commoners.

They had passed the last group of bathers a while back. Neither he nor Kibum were very familiar with these parts. It wasn’t really a recommended past-time to be wandering this deep into the forest. However, Magistrate Lee was adamant, so they pushed onwards. Taemin kept an eye on Kibum the entire time they walked since the older boy looked like all that was keeping him from murdering the official in cold blood was the small battalion of guards the magistrate had brought along for this trip.

Kibum’s temper was well known in the village, and Taemin didn’t want to deal with it alone without Jinki around to run interference. He sighed heavily as he watched the intensity of the glares Kibum was throwing the man increase. He sent a prayer to whichever god might be listening and one to the forest spirits for the sake of it. The day had started out so well, and now all he wanted to do was get out of this mess in one piece.

Someone must have been listening and taken pity on him because not much later, the bubbling sounds of a fall could be heard, and the group quickened their pace. They pushed through some thickets and emerged on a well hidden stream. Following it upwards and stumbling over the stones, Taemin and Kibum were the first to arrive at a picturesque pool, part of a series of small cascades, with a much larger fall further away. They both took a moment to take in the sight, shocked that none of them had ever found this spot. Although, given how far they had to travel, maybe it wasn’t so much of a surprise.

It was beautiful. The mist from the biggest fall gave the entire area an ethereal feel. Sunlight streaming through the trees glowed softly as it passed through the moisture in the air.

Taemin and Kibum shared a smile and, after making sure the magistrate and his men were following, scrambled up over the large stones to get a look at the fall. Just as they were making their way over the last cascade, their glee plummeted.

Kibum noticed it first, and his hesitance made Taemin stop. Over the thunder of crashing water, Taemin felt his skin crawl when he realized he could make out the faint sound of a melody. He felt the blood drain from his face, and he didn’t need to look to know Kibum was equally fearful. He felt the older boy grip his shoulder to tug him back.

Silently they made their descent. It was ingrained in them from years of stories, and whether or not they doubted their legitimacy, neither of the young men wanted take the risk.

As they approached the group, Kibum whispered urgently, “We need to go back.”

Taemin nodded vigorously in agreement.

Taking in their white faces, the guards did not immediately dismiss the demand, but turned to the magistrate for instruction.

Unfortunately, the man was unreasonable as ever.

“What is the meaning of this,” he barked.

“We need to go, now! It’s not safe here,” Kibum repeated, pushing at some of the guards, who were starting to look a bit unnerved.

“You have to trust us,” Taemin urged, “we can’t disturb whatever is there! Please, you have to believe us. You don’t want to disturb this place!”

“You peasants and your superstitions! I don’t have time for this! We’ve come all this way, and I’m not about to let two fools waste a whole morning’s progress!” Magistrate Lee made to climb, then paused. Erring on the side of caution, he motioned to Taemin and Kibum to go first.

They were about to refuse when, on the signal of the magistrate, the guards all went for their swords. With no other choice, the two made their way back to the fall. It didn’t take long before they were back to their previous spot.

“See,” the magistrate huffed as he stumbled toward them, “nothing but supersti-”

He stopped speaking when he too heard the eerie melody. Some of the guards quickly drew their swords, turning left and right to find the source of the music.

Taemin huddled close to Kibum, relatively sure he was going to die, soon.

The stubborn magistrate, although slightly paler, mulishly insisted, “W-well, there has got to be a reasonable explanation for this. Who dares trespass on the great lands of His Imperial Majesty! The great kingdom of Joseon will not tolerate-”

Suddenly, a loud splashing from the pool before them sent the magistrate scrambling away from the water, tumbling to the ground in front of Taemin and Kibum. All of them stared at the large pool, where a young woman emerged from the depths. She was facing away from them, so all Taemin could make of her was the pale skin of her shoulders and what seemed like endless strands of long black hair fanning out around her.

The image should have been beautiful, but paired with their location, the mystery of her appearance, and the faint music, Taemin found the entire thing more ominous than anything. Nothing good ever came from mysterious women in this forest. He’d heard enough stories to know.

When Kibum hissed loudly beside him, Taemin glanced over to see a look of dismay spread across the other boy’s face. He turned to the magistrate and understood. The lecherous fiend was sporting the look of obvious infatuation, and Taemin felt his heart drop.

This was not good.

He didn't know who was the culprit, probably one of the guards, but someone managed to dislodge a small stone which tumbled down the slope to the water. Everything slowed to a crawl as Taemin watched the stone bounce its way down before dropping into the pool with a loud plop.

Everyone froze.

The music finally stopped, and the woman slowly turned towards their group. He didn't know what he was expecting, but he was both slightly let down and wary of the woman in the pool.

She wasn't a monster, like Taemin was half expecting. The face looking back at them was that of a young woman, pretty enough but surprisingly normal. It was rather anticlimactic.

But before Taemin could fully settle his nerves, he realized they, a group of strange, armed men, were staring at the naked body of a young woman bathing! It was pure luck that her hair floating on the surface of the water had managed to preserve her modesty. He was just about to scream an apology when the woman laughed.

And then Taemin’s jitters returned full force.

It was a light, delighted sound, completely inappropriate for the situation. She smiled brightly at them, and swam closer. This was not normal. Taemin felt cold sweat beading on his forehead and realized that Kibum must have felt the same because he had an iron grip on Taemin’s wrist.

“Are you celebrating the Chilseok, too? Would you like to join us? The water is wonderful,” she said, still beaming at them.

Taemin felt a chill run up his spine as the magistrate crept closer to the water rather than the more sensible option and moving away from whatever this was.

“Well, my lady, I don't know if you're aware, but do you understand the severity of your crime,” Magistrate Lee asked in such a blatantly patronizing tone that Taemin was surprised he wasn't struck dead on the spot. The man was speaking slowly and in a sing-song voice, as if to a young child.

He continued, completely unaware of the sharpening gaze of the woman despite her smile, “I do believe it was an innocent mistake, of course, but you are aware you’re trespassing on His Imperial Majesty’s lands?”

The woman waded forward as the magistrate spoke, stopping a short distance from them. She tilted her head, appearing confused at the man’s question.

Taemin didn't believe that expression for a second.

But the magistrate plowed forward, “I’m sure it's just a small misunderstanding. But this could still bring you quite a bit of trouble. Fortunately, for a man such as myself, it would be very easy to make this little problem go away; if you’re willing to be… _accommodating_ to some small requests, that is.”

Her expression did not change at all but somehow, Taemin thought the air felt colder.

“His Imperial Majesty, you say?” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and Taemin swore his heart leapt to his throat as he prayed she wouldn't expose herself… then punish them for seeing what they weren't supposed to.

“Yes. His Majesty, the king of our blessed land of Joseon.”

“Ah! Joseon? I know the land of Joseon,” she laughed. “Now who is the lord of these lands, the lands you claim I have trespassed?”

The magistrate sputtered for a moment. Who would not know the king?

“The king, woman! King-”

“Oh, I know! King Taejo, is it not?”

“What?”

Taemin felt the men around him shift, the strangeness of the situation finally hitting them. King Taejo was the first king of Joseon and had been dead for over half a century.

“No?” Her head tilted in ambivalent mockery. “It's rather hard to keep track of all these names, wouldn't you say. These titles pass hands faster than lies passing through a thief’s lips… or a politician’s for that matter.”

“How dare you!” Magistrate Lee stood up quickly. He gestured to his men, who after only a moment’s hesitation, came forward to surround the water’s edge, some with weapons drawn.

The woman smiled brighter if anything, “I still say that it seems a bit presumptuous of someone, whose claim to kingship is so temporary, to assume to deny my right to bathe in this pool, but I don’t want trouble. Alright, humor me. You said something about some _small_ requests?”

The official was clearly unprepared for this entire confrontation. His mouth opened and closed soundlessly before he finally straightened and said, “Despite your apparent lack of proper upbringing, I can still find it in my heart to accept your faults. My lady, I am a man of prestige and wealth, and for the first time in my life, I have found beauty worthy of my family name.”

Taemin, Kibum, and the woman in the water all stared at the magistrate with the same incredulous expression. He couldn’t be serious.

“My lady, I would like for you to become my wife.”

The silence was overwhelming in the aftermath of that incredibly stupid demand. At this point, Taemin was beyond fear. If he could watch the magistrate kicked from his high horse, dying might just be worth it.

“Well,” she said and paused, looking both flattered and insulted. This was perhaps the first honest expression Taemin had seen on her face. “I am sorry, but I must decline. I am a married woman. My hand already belongs to another.”

Not surprisingly, this information did not go over well with the magistrate. He stomped his foot and huffed, “This is preposterous! How dare you defy me? Have you no clue who it is you’re talking to? Who is he, the man your hand belongs to? Who dares interfere with my proposal? I demand to meet this bastard.”

“Hi.”

A raspy voice came from behind them, but before they could all turn, the dark figure was already upon the fuming magistrate. He grabbed the man by his top-knot, tilting his head back sharply, and held a short sword to his exposed throat.

“I’m the bastard,” he said, over the magistrate’s whimpers.

The magistrate’s men froze. Everything happened too quickly for them to take in the sight; one minute the magistrate was huffing and ranting at the edge of the water, and the next, a strange man was among their ranks with the magistrate hostage. The guards who had yet to pull out their weapons immediately went for their swords, but all it took was for the stranger to press his blade into the magistrate’s neck, just enough for a thin line of blood to be visible, for the men to back away, hands still awkwardly resting on the handles of their weapon.

“Is it not dispicable for a group of armed men to harass a woman while she bathes?’

No one dared to answer what was clearly meant as a rhetorical question. While the man did not speak very loudly, the deep, raspy timbre of his voice seemed to whisper in the ears of all present.

Taemin was very close to just keeling over and letting death take him for all the adrenaline coursing through his body; all that was keeping him from completely losing it was Kibum’s vice grip on his wrist. He felt a tug and glanced Kibum’s way, not daring to move even his head as to avoid drawing any attention to himself. It was a bit of a shock to see that Kibum, rather than watching the scene with the black clad stranger play out, was instead keeping a steady eye on the woman in the water. Actually, she was no longer in the water but was now seated on the stones surrounding pool’s edge, long strands of hair clinging to her body as she watched the proceedings with a strangely distant but amused smile.

Now, living in a village such as theirs, Taemin wasn’t a complete stranger to the physical appearance of the opposite sex, but this was still something altogether different. It was hard for him to wrap his head around the sight of a woman’s exposed breasts without the attached suckling child, or the sight of smooth, pert curves as opposed to the sagging aged ones of the village elders who had long ago stopped caring.

Conceptually… theoretically, it made sense.

He’d seen the drawings from the pleasure books the occasional passing peddler sold, but this was real. And he didn’t really know what to do with this information, so instead, it was with a strange sense of detachment that he watched her lean forward, apparently not paying any mind to her own nudity, and called cheerfully to the man.

“Yoongi, why have you stop playing?”

Taemin heard Kibum snort as the guards jumped at her soft voice and were clearly torn between who to focus on.

With a casualness that certainly didn’t befit the situation, the man, Yoongi apparently, answered, “I don’t waste my time and talents on undeserving ears.”

“Will you play for me when they‘re gone?”

Taemin really didn’t like the way she phrased that question.

“As long as you’ll have me, Hoseok.”

He wasn’t alone in his confusion at the name. Kibum also tilted his head, momentarily struggling to figure out who it was that the man was referring to, considering the masculine nature of the name. It was a relief to both when it was apparent that there was only the woman beaming at the man’s sentiment and not another mysterious figure.

“Oh, you know I’ll have you forever. All of you.”

Taemin was confused as to how it seemed that only he and Kibum found this conversation threatening as all hell. What did she mean by that? He sure hoped he wasn’t included in that ‘you’ because as attractive as she might be, he definitely hadn’t volunteered for eternal damnation when he went trekking through the woods this morning. And something in the way she said ‘forever’ and in the smile the two of them shared, like it was a punchline that only they were privy, did not sit right by him.

He wanted to leave.

Kibum finally spoke up for the first time since they came upon the water, “Please, we didn’t mean to interrupt. He, the magistrate - all of them, actually - they’re new. They don’t… _know_ the rules.”

The stumble over the small lie was pretty apparent to Taemin, but he just hoped this wasn’t something these forest people would notice. He couldn’t blame Kibum, though. The elders had tried their best to get it into these capital city folks’ thick skulls that the forest wasn’t something to be trifled with, but look where that got them. Honestly, Taemin would have enjoyed this, if the damned magistrate hadn’t dragged him and Kibum down with him.

“Oh? Rules? What rules would that be?” She sounded confused but who was to say she wasn’t toying with them.

Neither Kibum nor Taemin knew how to answer that. It wasn’t as if the spirits, or whatever, that haunted this place had come down to their village and dropped their edict. If anything, it was a self-made mandate, based on trial and error - a means of maintaining safety through mutual respect.

“Is this why we’ve hardly seen anyone from the village this far up? And we almost never see anyone at night… it would be nice to have some evening visitors sometimes.”

The man snorted at that. Magistrate Lee whimpered as the motion caused the blade to press against his neck even more.

The tension was thick, and Taemin swore he could feel cold sweat breaking out all over his body. Of course, nothing seemed to register with the two strange beings.

The woman, jovial as ever, turned a rather apologetic gaze them. “Well, there seems to be a misunderstanding here, but I can’t say what that is, honestly.”

“Maybe it’s this little shit official who doesn’t how to take no for an answer. She’s not interested.”

“I’m really not, but I am flattered.”

“What the hell, Hoseok?”

“Well, next to Jimin, Seokjin, and you, it’s nice to be the pretty one once in a while.”

“You’re always pretty.” The man, Yoongi, said this without any change to his tone, much like someone commenting on the weather. It was very clear to Taemin that for this man the statement was a universal fact, and that it was ridiculous for the woman to imply otherwise.

Hoseok leaned forward on the stones and rested her head on her arms, “I suppose it’s a matter of perspective.”

“You’re beautiful,” he said again, coldly vehement, leaving no room for arguments.

And all this would have been as awkward as it was sweet if the back of Taemin’s mind was not occupied by images of his own funeral.  

“Hm. Would be nice to hear you say it sometimes.”

Oh, alright. Nothing made Taemin want to jump off a cliff more than lover’s spats. Apparently, ghost, spirits, or whatever the hell these people were, even they were susceptible to fights.

He stopped just short of rolling his eyes. His death was going to be so uncool now.

Taemin felt rather than heard Kibum’s sigh and shared a look with his village mate. At the very least, he was comforted by the older boy’s unimpressed look. Nothing killed the mood faster than relationship drama… even if the mood was horror.

On the other hand, this could be their chance. With the beings distracted, he and Kibum might be able to sneak away. A short nod from Kibum confirmed that he was clearly thinking the same thing.

Fear slightly alleviated, Taemin promised himself he would light some incense for the magistrate’s soldiers. They didn’t deserve this. It was the sorry excuse for a man’s fault that any of them were here.

Taemin didn’t plan on wasting any incense on one Lee Byunghun.

Slowly, eyes still glued to the stand-off in front of them, Taemin and Kibum quietly backed away. Halfway into their second step, something in the thickets caught his eye. It took a second for Taemin to register the glint of metal, but before he had a chance to call out a warning, there was a snap.

 

_Thwap. Thwap. Thwap._

 

In quick succession, three arrows buried deep in the strange man’s back, a surprised gasp escaped his lips, and he stumbled to his knees as the magistrate scrambled away. Both villagers froze.

Archers burst from the brushes. More soldiers came scrambling over the rocks. One of the new arrivals stepped forward to help the trembling official, while the rest of the archers’ arrows remained trained on the injured man.

“Our deepest apologies for our late arrival, my lord. My men and I will gladly accept any punishment for our mistake.”

Upon stumbling to his feet, the magistrate proceeded to slap away his men’s hands.

Gesticulating wildly, he yelled, “Of course you would be punished! How dare you let this happen to me! Another minute and I would be dead. And _you_ —“

Seeming to have forgotten his prior predicament, the official rounded on the wounded man. “How _dare_ you! Do you know who I am? Do you know the punishment for speaking out of turn to government appointed lord? I will have you rot in a prison cell for the rest of your cursed life for this slight!”

The man spat a mouthful of blood on the ground even as fresh blood rose to replace it, dribbling from his lips. Despite this, he smiled — this was the brightest his face since their first encounter — and looked up at magistrate with such wild, giddy abandon that the other man found himself stumbling back to the safety of his guards.

“I don’t think that would be necessary, Sir Magistrate,” he garbled past the blood. Turning to the woman, who had now left the water’s edge without the notice of anyone, his smile dwindled to something more sane. “Hoseok, this is the last time I’m going Chuseok bathing with you.”

Instead of responding, she knelt in front of him, completely uncaring of her own nudity, and caressed his face, gently wiping away  the blood with her thumb.

“Oh, Yoongi, don’t lie. You know I’ll convince you again next year.”

“Just so you know, you’re beautiful, no matter what. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“This is what it takes for you to tell me I’m beautiful?”

“Shut up. I’ll do better in the future.”

This was sweet but so heart-wrenching. It was clear to everyone there that those wounds were dire, if not fatal.

Teamin glared at the magistrate. He didn’t care what these people were anymore. It was this damned man’s pride that got them here.

“Well, since I convinced you you’re beautiful, I hope you know you’re not marrying that jackass over there.”

At the mention of him, the magistrate sprung into another tirade, “Of all the incorrigible, low-brow —“

“Of course not. We belong together. All of us. I’m not going anywhere,” she cut the man off before he could start.

He tried, again, despite the couple clearly ignoring him, “Now, listen here! I am the magistrate and my word is law. If I demand this woman be my bride, then she is my bride!”

Not even glancing at him, the pair continued as if the interruption never happened.

“I’m happy to hear it. In that case, you mind helping me, Hoseok?”

It was only then that Taemin realized the man had a knife in hand and lifting it to her. The woman, this Hoseok, took one look at the knife and grasped both it and the man’s hand.

The soldiers immediately went for their own weapons.

She leant forward and pressed both their foreheads together. They shared the sweetest of smiles, and she gave him a soft kiss on the tip of his nose.

He wrinkled it in response and said, “Thanks, I can’t get a good angle with a bad arm.”

Hoseok nodded.

Then, with no warning, she gripped the man’s hand down on the knife and plunged it deep into his chest.

Taemin heard the man’s breath rush out in a quick exhale. Blood poured from his lips, splattering over her chest.

No one moved as she yanked the knife free and eased the dying man to the ground.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” she whispered as he breathed his last.

She spared only a moment to stare at the body with a unreadable expression and stood. Still unclothed, somehow her body seem both more and less bare as the splattered blood began lazy trails down her chest and torso, clearly defining the soft curves of her body. Both her hands were almost solidly red and dripping.

Worst of all, her strange expression faded into a saccharine smile.

Taemin gagged, fighting not to vomit all over himself. He felt Kibum’s hand tremble where he clutched Taemin’s wrist.

They were so fucked.

“Well?”

Taemin wasn’t alone when he jumped at her soft query. He was just thankful her gaze was on the magistrate rather than himself.

“Wha — what did you do? Why would you —”

“What do you mean?”

“You — you killed him!”

“Were your men not the ones who shot him first? What did you think was going to happen?”

“But — but he was alive,” the magistrate looked at her, his horrified confusion gave way to anger. “He was fine! I was going to arrest him. He was fine, and then you killed him!”

Hoseok was completely unfazed by the man’s shouting.

“I assure you he wasn’t fine,” she scolded softly. She absentmindedly wiped some of the blood on her navel, more smearing than cleaning, and cocked her head in question. “What happened to your conviction, Sir Magistrate? What happened to the man who so adamantly demanded my hand?

I’ll let you in on a little secret: no woman wants to marry a boy. And a man without conviction — a man without honor — well, he’s hardly a man at all, wouldn’t you say?”

It’s funny how it only then occurred to Taemin that the Magistrate, for all his posturing and entitlement, was hardly any older than himself.

For a moment, the young man thought he could feel something bordering on sympathy. If only the blasted idiot stopped to think on the woman’s words. Instead, his trembling settled and the magistrate’s jaw set into a familiar stubborn cast.

Taemin felt his stomach dropped.

Nothing good was coming of this, he just knew.

A quick glance at Kibum confirmed his fear.

The magistrate’s stupidity was going to be the doom of their village.

 

* * *

 

_Today was going to be a good day. Or at least, it was supposed to be._

_Yoongi had been determined to make it everything Hoseok could possibly want. He had the spot picked out days earlier, he’d personally arranged the music, and somehow, despite living in a household of snitches, he had managed to keep the entire thing a surprise — mostly._

_It was supposed to be a perfect day out together — and may have also been his attempt to make up for missing out on a certain lunch date Hoseok had put together a while back, but Yoongi would deny it if asked. No one needed to be reminded of that._

_Hoseok had brought out the good wine, and she had not been happy to drink it alone._

_Disregarding Yoongi’s possible ulterior motives, today was looking to be quite wonderful._

_But of course it would be just his luck, today of all days, the villagers decided to wander into the woods._

_Alright, he definitely agreed the rest of their group that it was oddly lonely with the way the people avoided their forest. But on the other hand, he was probably alone in thinking that maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing._

_Who knows how any of them was going to explain half the things they got up to, especially Taehyung and Jungkook’s preoccupation with running around butt-naked. An old shaman had once told them it built character and was good for prolonged health. Why that last bit mattered, Yoongi had no clue._

_No one had the heart to tell the two that the man was most likely drunk off his ass at the time and was just fucking with them._

_Regardless, today the villagers came, and Yoongi was quite satisfied in the knowledge that he was right. Even if getting proven right involved numerous arrows to the back, he died vindicated._

 

* * *

 

Yoongi woke with a gasp. After a quick once over, she was just glad someone took the time to pull out the arrows before leaving. It was such a bitch healing when the weapons were still stuck in their bodies.

She stretched the crick out of her neck and looked around.

By now, the forest was a bluish grey under the thickets, and she was alone. This wasn’t too surprising even though Yoongi couldn’t deny her disappointment. She thought about heading down to the village for Hoseok, since she could almost say for certain that was where that bastard had taken her.

Fucking greedy officials were sadly predictable, no matter their origin.

Yoongi picked up the knife from earlier, fully intending to relieve one magistrate of his family jewels, when the stickiness of the blood-encrusted handle reminded Yoongi of the blood clinging to her entire body.

Looking down, she took in the sight of her tattered and blood-splattered hanbok and sighed. Well, that was gross — and uncomfortable as hell.  

Honestly, now that she noticed, she couldn’t ignore the stiff crust on her face either. And it seemed her hair had come undone in the earlier fiasco, so not only was she covered in a generous layer of blood and mud, there were chunks of leaves and twigs and who knows what else clinging to her disheveled mane.

Yoongi was having a very bad day.

Hoseok can wait for a fucking minute. Yoongi needed a bath. And a hug, probably. Definitely. Jimin better not have any other plans that evening.

With the decision made, Yoongi stomped her way back to their home, not giving a second thought about the noise she was making.

She already died once today.

It’s not like the day could get any worse.

Of course, no sooner had she finished that thought, she caught the familiar sight of torches between the trees.

_What the fuck is it this time?_

Really beyond giving any shits about her life choices at this point, Yoongi made her way over to the new commotion, hand still clutching the knife.

It wasn’t too long before she could make out some voices.

“We should go back. Didn’t you hear what the villagers said?” The man’s voice was shaking as he spoke.

“Just superstitious nonsense. Old wives’ tales these backwater folks tell to scare the children,” a different man’s voice scoffed.

“Then how do you explain the woman,” another chimed in.

“Or those people in the cabin,” said another.

Well, shit. Looks like they were found.

Yoongi was now close enough to make out the group. A band of ten or so men were headed her way.

“Just a group of hermits,” the man from earlier answered, before the group’s grumbling got too out of hand. “The magistrate wants us to collect the bodies, and that’s what we’re going to do. Do you want to be the one to tell him you couldn’t follow an order because of some village gossip?”

Wait. Bodies?

Someone else died today? These men had only mentioned the two of them and the so-called ‘hermits’ —

It took a moment for Yoongi to come to the most apparent conclusion.

And she was not happy about it. Not. At. All.

Yeah, sure, none of them were going to stay dead, but the thought that someone had hurt her family...

She was so taken by the sudden onslaught of outrage that she did not realize they were closing in on her spot, until —

“Wait, Captain, I think I saw —”

A torch swung in her direction, blinding Yoongi slightly with how close it came to her face.

Too shocked to move but also too angry to know what else to do, Yoongi glared at the frozen troop.

She recognized the uniform of the magistrate’s men.

She remembered the faces of those who interrupted her afternoon with Hoseok.

She remembered just how fucked her day got because of these fools.

Blind rage kept her frozen as she locked eyes with the closest man.

And then she screamed.

Unadulterated fury prevented her from forming proper words, but that didn’t stop her from trying to get the point across. She didn’t even get to cursing the men like she wanted, when her screech was drowned out by the cries of the terrified men as they bolted back down the hillside.

Yoongi stared, perplexed. What the ever loving fuck was that?

Rude.

The least the could’ve done was listen to her rant. She didn’t even get to vent properly.

With a huff, she turned back and continued home, grumbling the entire way.

It wasn’t too long before she was climbing over the last of the stone outcrops surrounding their little cabin. The remote location of the small basin between the two surrounding mountains was the reason why they had chosen to settle there. Namjoon had been the one to point out the benefits the terrain, and by that time, everyone else was simply too tired of traveling.

So settled there they did.

Heaving herself over the last stone, Yoongi was just ready for the welcomed sight of home.

Of course, their cabin was on fire.

Yoongi was too tired for this.

She just made her over to the burning husk. It wasn’t so much an active fire, but the dying flames did provide some light and heat, so there was that. She briefly wondered if she could carry over some of the reserve water barrels to heat up.

One thing she missed from their days of more glamorous living was hot water. It was much nicer when that was someone else’s problem.

Two silhouettes crouched in the back garden caught Yoongi’s eyes, interrupting her train of thought.

“What the hell happened,” she called, figuring it was one of the kids. It would be just like them to muck around in the dirt when their house was on fire.

“Who — oh! Yoongi?” A familiar feminine voice echoed her. It took a moment for Yoongi to place it as Seokjin. Last time they spoke this morning, they had both been men.

“Guess I’m not the only one to die today, huh,” she said as she walked over to the two. Taehyung, she noticed, was now male — of fucking course.

The now young man turned to her as she came up behind him.

“Yoongi, you wouldn’t believe what happened! It was the strangest thing. Out of nowhere all these soldiers came bursting out the woods and —” His voice cut off abruptly when she emerged from the darkness. “Damn, what happened to you?”

“I got shot… and then Hoseok stabbed me.”

“Is she still mad you missed the picnic with her that one time?” Taehyung stood and picked a twig from her hair.

“No. And stop bringing that up,” she grumbled. “It’s a long story. I’ll tell you after I clean up.”

Then, just out of curiosity, Yoongi had to ask, “Speaking of Hoseok, did she come back by any chance?”

“Nope.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.”

It was only then that she noticed the hole in the ground in front of Taehyung. A glance at Seokjin, who hadn’t spoken since the first call, showed the other girl hard at work digging a hole of her own.

“What are you two doing,” she asked, then quickly added, “and where are the others?”

Taehyung just pointed at the cabin, still on fire, “We figured they might want some clothes when they wake up, so we’re digging up some of our old stuff.”

“Oh.” What else was she supposed to say. It would be polite to offer to help, but she really didn’t want to.

“Yup.”

Thankfully, before Yoongi had to muster up the energy to offer her help, a loud thump and clank from where Seokjin was hard at work in her hole interrupted their exchange.

“Oh, thank all the spirits! Finally,” Seokjin cried out in delight. Quickly tossing her shovel to the side, she disappeared into the hole only to emerge with — not a clothing trunk like expected — but a giant urn, well sealed and protected.

“What the hell, Seokjin?” Yoongi spoke on behalf of Taehyung, whose mouth had fallen open.

Lovingly hugging the damned thing to herself, Seokjin’s delight oozed out as she cooed, “It’s my wine stash!”

“I can’t believe you made me dig for your wine! You said it was clothes!” Taehyung had apparently recovered from his earlier shock.

“Well, I told you to dig for clothes. I never said I was.”

While the poor man sputtered, Yoongi took the opportunity to ask, “How much do you have down there?”

“Enough.” Seokjin didn’t bother to check, just stared straight into her eyes. “I put them away just for these kinds of occasion.”

“Can I have some?”

Giving the blood-caked woman a once-over, Seokjin firmly stated, “I in _sist_.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, I am sorry for not posting in a hot minute. I swear I have like three WIPs for this series alone. I'm tossing this one up even though it's still WIP because I swear I'm writing! Hopefully, this will motivate me to finish faster as well!
> 
> Special thanks to [ColePike](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColePike) and [allourheroes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allourheroes/pseuds/allourheroes) for looking it over.
> 
> And my partner in crime, [superdeanlover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/superdeanlover/pseuds/superdeanlover), you da G, mah dude. Thanks for bouncing ideas and pushing my ass.


End file.
